


No Other Version of Me

by WaeRose



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Body Horror, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Frog Morality | Patton Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Moceit - Freeform, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, also literally everything I write has some hurt/comfort it is The Best Thing, is a really good ship ok i would Die For Them, its very very minor but better safe than sorry, the title is from Jackie and Wilson by Hozier go listen to it NOW, this isnt a songfic or anything i just liked that one lyric and I wanted it to be the title, which is the second time ive used that tag for a fic can u tell I love patton angst??? its true i do, y'all already know me well enough by now to know what the hell this gon' be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24412276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaeRose/pseuds/WaeRose
Summary: Patton's form has undergone some... troubling changes, in his opinion. Best to hide them for as long as he can- seeing as his new look is here to stay- no matter how much his skin itches or stretches or burns from the excessive shapeshifting.But Janus, whether fortunately or unfortunately, cannot be fooled by such cheap tricks.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 26
Kudos: 260





	No Other Version of Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hozier's music has Moceit vibes sorry I don't make the rules. Also! I Will Use Song Lyric Titles for All of My Fics even though They Aren't Songfics, because they are Easy and Ethereal!  
> I love!!! Frog Patton!!!! With my whole heart!! But people underestimate the angst potential for him being Fwoggy, and I needed to rectify this. And also,,,, Jan and him,,, can,,, match,,,,,,, hhh,,,,,,  
> -WJ

Janus was not nosy. Really, he’d only intended to return Patton’s electric blanket (he’d asked to borrow it on a particularly cold day in The Mindscape, and he definitely didn’t hold onto it for longer than necessary just because it smelled like Patton). Then, he would be on his way. Therefore, it was completely incidental that he’d heard a frustrated cry from Morality’s room before entering. And of course, the only reason that Janus continued to peer through the slightly ajar doorway- rather than just walking in- was so that he could assess the situation properly. To be safe. 

The situation was this: Patton was hunched in front of the mirror above his dresser, shaking from head to toe. He was just visible in the reflection, revealing what seemed to be the issue.

Patton’s hands were oversized, webbed, and  _ bright green _ . That same shade of citrus seemed to be overtaking his face, spanning across his eyes and nose and down his neck. 

On the subject of his eyes; absolutely enormous, with oblong and dilated pupils surrounded by muck-brown irises. Oh, and they were also steadily filling up with tears, which was probably a more pressing issue.

Janus could have- and probably should have- just walked away and pretended he hadn’t seen anything. He almost did, turning to leave only to hear an absolutely heart-breaking wail from the room behind him. He sighed, spinning on his heel again and gently shouldering the door open. 

“Good evening.”

The emotional trait startled at that, and when he flipped around he had  _ changed _ \- no webbed hands, no green splotches, just a shiny faux face. Janus clicked the door closed behind him; evidently this would be a sensitive issue. 

“Oh- hey Janus! Can I help you with something?” 

He had always hated Morality’s fake smile. Before they’d grown close, Deceit despised how it was another symbol of his repression. Now he hated it for how it paled in comparison to Patton’s genuine beam. 

Janus held up the fluffy blanket still folded in his arms and then tossed it onto the bed.

“I was just dropping by to return your blanket. While I’m here, though, would you tell me why you’re doing that?”

Patton looked much like a deer caught in headlights, panic flashing across his masked face. He forced a laugh.

“Doing what?” 

The literal embodiment of lies raised his eyebrow and patiently waited for Patton to own up. He didn’t, the stubborn little thing.

“The shapeshifting,” Janus pressed, “It can’t be comfortable to keep that up all day. I would know, I do it the most out of any of us,” with that, he extended his additional arms. He actually didn’t hide them much nowadays, what with being accepted and all, but they’d been getting in the way of chores (and also, it added some drama to the point he was making). Regardless, he hoped that Patton would understand what he was trying to convey-  _ I know how you feel. You can trust me now, remember? _

The moral side kept his hands held to his chest and his eyes downcast, blinking very quickly. The skin around his arms and face was taught and plasticky, like that of a mannequin. The disturbing signs of over-shifted forms. 

“I know it’s been too long, Jan, I do- but this isn't a bunch of extra arms, or anything cool like that. It’s…” his hushed speech trailed off. Janus stepped closer and reached out. Patton let him hold his hands, trembling.

“Oh, come now, it can’t be worse than  _ this _ ,” Deceit gestured to the left side of his face, a clear joke. It backfired- Morality looked even more dismayed, muttering something that wasn’t quite audible. Janus squeezed his hands. 

“Please. Show me.”

Patton seemed almost ready to argue as they met eyes, but the fight fell from him almost instantly. A dull teal shimmer passed over his face and neck, continuing to run down his arms. What was left from the transformation were watery, frog-like eyes behind his glasses and soft hands with pudgy fingers. The tips of those fingers were much wider than humans, not to mention nail-less. Up close, various lime-colored splotches were visible scattered about his skin in seemingly random places. 

He was stunning. 

And he was crying. 

“No matter what I do,” Patton whispered, “It won’t go away. I’ve tried  _ everything _ , Janus.”

“Why on earth would you want to get rid of this?”

Patton jerked his hands back to his chest and pulled away, bumping into his dresser. 

“Look at me! I look like a monster! Why  _ wouldn’t _ I want to get rid of it?”

Janus scoffed at the notion as if it were the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard, though his heart ached at the fresh tears that slipped down Patton’s face. He didn’t hesitate so much as a moment, sliding off his glove. His  _ left  _ glove.

“I am looking, can’t you see?” he let the article drop to the floor, reaching out a candy-apple colored claw to take Patton’s hand in his once more, “You’re absolutely beautiful, in this or any other form.”

Morality’s breath hitched as Deceit twined their fingers together, watching him cautiously. The moral side was quiet, save for staggered breathing, only for a moment.

“You don’t mean that.”

Janus cupped the side of his face with an unoccupied hand, gently dragging the gloved thumb beneath Patton’s eye to dry some of his tears. 

“I’m not lying. Not about this, and not to you. I mean it,”  _ I mean it so much more than you could possibly know. _

Patton seemed to search his expression, gauging the sincerity. Janus met the gaze without falter. That was what most people forgot about lying- it’s the eyes, you can always see it in the eyes.

Patton leaned into him.

“You really  _ do _ mean it, huh?”

“Of course I do,” the dishonest trait tried to ignore the heat that spread across his face when Morality smiled at him, tiny and genuine. 

“You’re really pretty, too,” he murmured, “At least, I think so.”

The human side of Janus’ face was flaming. He tilted his head to the side and cleared his throat- this wasn’t  _ about  _ him. He would not relent to the thrumming in his heart and the fuzz in his mind, for he needed to focus on comforting his friend.  _ Friend.  _ Frieeeends. That was what they were, just in case he had forgotten. 

“Thank you, Patton.” 

He was met with a small giggle, and then they were hugging. Patton wrapped his arms around Janus’ torso and pressed his face against the side of the snake’s neck, and  _ oh _ , that felt illegally wonderful. When he spoke, it rumbled against the lying side’s scales.

“Thank  _ you _ . I don’t know if I’ll ever be used to this,” he held up a froggy hand, “It still seems like a punishment for what I did, one that I probably deserve. But if you still like m- it… then it doesn’t feel so bad.” 

That pricked Janus’ ears. Patton saying he deserved any sort of ‘punishment’, like it was the most obvious and fair thing in the world, it struck something in him. Something deep and familiar and painful. 

“Why do you think you deserve it?”

Patton hid his face further, his breath warm against Deceit’s skin.

“I did kinda freak out and turn into a giant monster… actions should have consequences.”

“So the emotional distress, the Roman fiasco,  _ me  _ showing up, those weren’t ‘consequences’? Consequences that _ don’t _ involve permanently changing your self-image?”

“But was it enough? Didn’t I get off a little too easily?”

Janus tossed his head back with a high-pitched laugh, which probably didn’t help the situation much- but the irony! The  _ irony _ !

“I’m sorry, dear, but you saying that to _me_ , well, it didn’t catch me off-guard at _all_ ,” he fixed his remaining arms around Patton comfortingly as the cackles subsided.

“What are you talking about, Jan?” Morality pulled his head back, melancholy replaced with confusion. 

“Look at us,” Janus said gleefully, “Just a few months ago I couldn’t get within five feet of you without you acting like I was going to murder you.”

Patton winced at Deceit’s less-than-comforting phrasing. 

“Let me reiterate: you thought that because I  _ wanted  _ you to. It was my intention to be threatening, and the blame for that lies with me. And after all of that, you forgave me almost immediately. You can’t extend the same courtesy to yourself?” 

“But that’s different!”

“Is it? Explain it to me.”

“It just  _ is _ when it’s somebody else.” 

“Exactly! We’ve found the problem. Your self-imposed rules are much stricter on yourself than on anybody else. That doesn’t sound very fair, does it?”

“I-” Patton looked almost argumentative, but just as before, it evaporated into exhaustion, “I don’t know. Maybe. But I’m not in charge of other people, and I  _ am  _ in charge of me.” 

“That you are. And you’ve just been  _ so easy  _ on yourself. Plus you  _ totally haven’t _ been improving, and it’s  _ not _ like that counts more than anything else.”

Patton blinked, taking his time to unscramble the backwards talk. He hummed in thought.

“Even if I still don’t love this new- uh- ‘new look’, I think… Maybe I needed to hear that?” he admitted, a sheepish smile returning. Patton kept himself _so_ _very near_ in their hug that it was becoming dizzying, but Janus had to stay focused. 

“Perhaps I can help with that, too.” 

He felt a thrill chase up his spine when Morality tipped his head to the side inquisitively. 

“Really?”

“I believe so. I have  _ no idea  _ what it’s like looking abnormal, after all. So if you ever feel particularly bad about your, ah, amphibian appearance, then you know where to find me. I’ll be sure to remind you just what you are,” Deceit loosened his grip and leaned back just the tiniest bit, readying himself to make the final point. 

“What do you mean?”

“You’re worthy of love,” he was just parroting the moral trait’s words back to him, it carried no connotations nor significance. It was a callback at most. Janus tried to hammer that into his head, even when Patton looked at him so shocked and adoringly and he felt that it was beginning to mean so much more. The meaning twisted around the more he prolonged the embrace, the more he stared into those wide watery eyes, the more he  _ wanted  _ it to twist. 

“Oh,” Patton murmured. He curled his fingers in the fabric of Janus’ capelet, “Oh,  _ Janus. _ ”

They were so close, their faces just inches apart. And he was leaning closer, closer, almost touching. Janus’ breath hitched when Patton stopped short, watching him carefully and... expectantly?

Janus realized that Morality would never close the gap between them, not in this kind of sensitive state. Janus also knew that, should he not do it himself, Patton wouldn’t bring it up again, for fear of seeming pushy. As terrifying the thought of kissing the object of his affections was, there was something much more horrible about the thought of not doing it. So, no reason to overthink it, he supposed.

Janus tipped his head up and connected their lips. 

Patton kissed back eagerly, leaning down to accommodate their height difference. He was sweet, and warm, a gentle pressure against Deceit. He smiled, letting his hand rest at the small of Janus’ back. They moved together slowly, easily, as though this was something they were already practiced at. It was a second nature. 

When they finally broke apart, Patton glanced down at his arms. He giggled a little, pressing his forehead to Janus’. 

“Looks like the kiss didn’t turn me human.”

Janus, who was trying very hard to have coherent thoughts at the moment, shook his head. It took a few seconds of breathy and very embarrassing squeaking sounds before he managed to say actual words. 

“Humanity is overrated, Darling,” which would have been a very smooth and dramatic thing to say, if only he wasn’t clutching to Patton for dear life and burning at the ears. 

“If you say so,” the moral side pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“Hhaghhh,” Janus responded eloquently, shoving his flushed face into Patton’s shoulder. The trait laughed, a lilting sound right against Janus’ ear. It was intoxicating.

“You are just too adorable, Jan.”

“This was a horrible mistake. I never should have returned that blanket and I hate you.”

“I can let go of you, if you want?”

“Not in a million years.”

Patton laughed at him again. Whatever, it was so worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this short fluff!!! This brings it up to 4 outta my current 7 finished works that are simple cute stuff, don't worry though... I'll tear your hearts out with some longer Intrulogical soon :)  
> That's not to say I don't like this stuff, I super do! It's a relaxing writing experience.  
> Alright, I'm just making conversation with the wind now, as is my ways. Please leave comments!!! I'm not great about responding, cuz I never know just what to say, but I read and appreciate all of them more than you will ever know!!!! <3 <3 <3  
> -WJ


End file.
